- Subject: FBI Director Kash Patel is facing internal and external scrutiny for utilizing FBI SWAT teams—specifically trained for hostage rescue—to provide personal security for his girlfriend, country singer Alexis Wilkins, at events like the NRA convention.
- The Travel: Patel has also used government jets for personal trips, including a golf excursion to Scotland and visits to Wilkins in Nashville, despite previously criticizing his predecessor for similar spending.
- The Conflict: Critics, including former agents, argue this misappropriates specialized tactical resources and taxpayer money, while Patel’s team asserts the security is necessary due to "hundreds of credible death threats" linked to their relationship.
- The Context: These expenditures occur as Patel publicly supports a White House proposal to cut the FBI’s budget by half a billion dollars.
Blake Trapper:
FBI Director Kash Patel is under fire for deploying specialized SWAT teams to act as bodyguards for his girlfriend, an aspiring country singer, and for using government jets to facilitate golf trips to Scotland. While Patel’s office claims these measures are necessary due to threats, former agents argue it’s an abuse of tactical resources, noting that SWAT teams are trained to storm barricades, not stand around backstage at the Grand Ole Opry. This comes as Patel pushes to slash the bureau’s budget by half a billion dollars, proving that fiscal responsibility is a top priority—right after he lands the G5.
"SWAT TEAMS?! For a CONCERT?! Do you know what SWAT stands for? Special Weapons And Tactics! It’s for HOSTAGE situations, not holding a purse while someone sings the anthem! And he’s flying to SCOTLAND on OUR dime while cutting the budget? We’ve SEEN this before! This is Caligula making his horse a senator! This is Boss Tweed buying diamonds with city contracts! It is the same GRIFT, just with better catering! If I used the school budget to buy myself a golf cart, I would be in PRISON! But no, he needs 'secure comms' to check his score at the Carnegie Club? I’m going to have an aneurysm! I’m going to bed!"
Victory Editorial Flourish:
Most people I know wouldn't dream of taking a penny that didn't belong to them, even when times are tough. It costs you absolutely nothing to be an honest person who respects the public trust and pays their own way. Now leave me alone, my blood pressure is spiking.
"Oh, FANTASTIC! I just love a modern romance, don't you? It’s so... empowering. Nothing says 'strong female lead' like needing a tactical assault team to protect you while you promote yourself as part of a 'MAGA power couple'. Wait, I'm sorry—let me rephrase. If a female CEO used company assets to fly her unemployed boyfriend around the world to watch him play the harmonica, we’d be measuring her for a jumpsuit before the plane landed. But Kash? He’s just a 'protector.' Bless his heart. I’m sure the budget cuts are just to teach us all a lesson in thriftiness while he enjoys the 'swag and trappings' of the office."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
You know, millions of women wake up every day and protect their families without a security detail or a private jet. Using your actual strength to lift up the people around you—rather than using their tax dollars to build your brand—is the only power move that counts. Now excuse me, I have a glass ceiling to reinforce.
"Can we be honest? You're not mad about the jet. You're mad about who is on the jet. The article says his predecessors did it too, just... less conspicuously. This is the game. Power protects power. Kash Patel isn't an anomaly; he's just the guy who stopped pretending to hide it. He fired a guy for not blurring the tail number? That’s the most honest thing a politician has done all year. It’s all a club, and you’re paying the dues. Stop acting surprised. Grow up."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
Look, the system is rigged, but that doesn't mean you have to be a cynic about your neighbors. The only real rebellion left is to be decent to people when there's no camera crew around to capture it. Don't get weepy on me, I'm just stating facts.
"Right, so—technically speaking, we are witnessing a magnificent bureaucratic Ouroboros. A snake eating its own tail, funded by the Treasury! Observe: Ms. Wilkins needs a SWAT team because she receives threats. Why does she receive threats? Because she is dating the Director who is conspicuously using SWAT teams to protect her! It is a self-perpetuating threat ecosystem! And the 'Ravens'? We’re calling the security team 'Ravens' now? It’s like he’s modeling the Department of Justice after a Game of Thrones subplot. The paperwork on this must be absolute fiction. Incredible."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
When you strip away the pomp and the acronyms, civilization is just people agreeing not to be terrible to one another. If you see a system that’s broken, the most radical thing you can do is refuse to let it break you. Now if only someone would audit the audits.
"Mmm-hmm. So we’re taking specialized agents—people trained to kick down doors—and making them stand guard at a country music gig? The AUDACITY. You know what this is? This is treating the FBI like it’s Uber Black. It is DISRESPECTFUL. And then to look me in the eye and say you need to cut the budget? Child, please. I have seen cleaner bookkeeping at a church bake sale. If you want to go to Scotland, you buy a ticket like everybody else. Don't act brand new."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
Most folks are out here stretching every dollar just to keep the lights on and the kids fed, and they do it with dignity. We keep this world spinning by showing up for our neighbors and doing the right thing even when nobody is watching. Now go behave before I have to come down there.
"Okay, hold on. I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm confused. So, the SWAT team leaves early because they realize she’s safe? And then he yells at them? I thought... aren't they the experts? If the SWAT team says it's safe, isn't it safe? And he used the jet to go to a wrestling match? Is that... business? I feel like if I took the company laptop to a wrestling match, HR would have questions. Am I missing something? I guess I just don't understand the rules anymore."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
I know things seem upside down, but I still see people helping each other with groceries and jumping cars in the parking lot every day. Being kind to a stranger is one of the few things that actually makes sense, so maybe we just stick to that. Anyway, let me know if you need help with that yard work.
"Let me tell you something. I run a crew. If I took my best guys—my master carpenters—and told them, 'Hey, forget the framing, I need you to stand around and watch my girlfriend sing karaoke,' they’d laugh in my face. And they should! That ain't work. That's vanity. And driving the company truck to the golf course? Where I'm from, we call that 'getting fired.' You don't take the heavy equipment to the hoedown. That dog won't hunt."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
You don't need a government contract to know the difference between right and wrong; you just need to look a man in the eye. Real character is about doing the hard work when it's raining and nobody's clapping for you. Now I’m gonna finish this beer.
"okay so i’m reading this and it’s giving... main character syndrome? like imagine needing a literal swat team to go to brunch. it’s giving 'pick me' but with federal resources. and the guy fired someone for not hiding his plane number? toxic. literally toxic. i can’t even get a text back and this girl gets a tactical unit. we are truly in our flop era. i’m gonna go dissociate in the shower."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
honestly though, seeing people actually care about each other without making it a content opportunity is the only thing keeping me tethered to this plane of existence. just be cool to people, it’s literally free. anyway don’t perceive me.
"Technically, the rule is you have to reimburse the government at the commercial rate! But the commercial rate is pennies compared to the operating cost of a Gulfstream! That is a LOOPHOLE! It is cheating! You can't just claim 'security' for a golf trip to Scotland! If the sign says 'Employees Only,' you don't bring your friends! It’s a violation of the social contract! We have rules for a reason! I don't care who you are—get in line like the rest of us!"
Victory Editorial Flourish:
We live in a society, and that means we look out for each other by following the rules of common courtesy. Holding the door for someone or returning your shopping cart shows you actually give a damn about the person coming after you. Now act like you were raised right, for crying out loud.
"Okay—deep breath. Clinically speaking, this is resource mismanagement on a catastrophic scale. You are taking high-acuity specialists (SWAT) and deploying them for low-acuity maintenance (VIP escort). This is like calling a neurosurgeon to put on a Band-Aid. It causes system-wide failure! And cutting the budget while increasing overhead? That is administrative malpractice. You are bleeding the patient while ordering room service! Do you understand what this does to morale? To readiness? I am palpitating. I need a beta-blocker."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
The only thing keeping our systems from total collapse is the invisible, tireless work of people who actually care about doing their jobs well. Please check on your friends and colleagues, because we are all just trying to survive the shift. I need to go lie down in a dark room.
"YO. Check this out. This guy is flying to Scotland with Navy SEALs to play golf? Bro! In my country, we have dictators who are less obvious than this! He’s got 'Ravens' guarding the plane? That sounds like a supervillain squad! America is wild, man. You guys talk about 'law and order' and then use the hostage rescue team as backstage security? No lie, I respect the hustle, but this is some banana republic behavior with better branding. Y'all are crazy."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
But hey, everywhere I go in this world, I see regular people sharing their food and looking out for their neighbors regardless of what the big guys are doing. That hospitality is the real universal language, not power or money. I'd still invite you over for dinner, even if you are crazy.
"Oh, darling, this is simply embarrassing. If you have to use the government's jet to impress your girlfriend, you aren't actually rich. Real wealth is private. Real wealth doesn't need a reimbursement form. And using a SWAT team as an accessory? It’s so... nouveau. It screams 'insecurity.' If you can't afford your own security detail, maybe you shouldn't be dating a pop star. Fix it. It’s tacky, and I hate tacky."
Victory Editorial Flourish:
True class has nothing to do with money; it’s about treating the doorman and the CEO with the exact same level of respect. If you want to be elite, try being kind to someone who can do absolutely nothing for you. Try it sometime, darling—it looks good on everyone.
"HUDDLE UP! Listen to me! Kash Patel is playing OFFENSE! You critics are stuck playing defense! He’s out there utilizing every asset on the field! SWAT team? PUT 'EM IN THE GAME! Government jet? THAT'S THE TEAM BUS! He’s building a DYNASTY! You think champions worry about 'budget cuts'? NO! Champions worry about WINNING! He’s protecting his MVP! That is LEADERSHIP! BOOM! WHAP! Hydrate or die-drate!"
Victory Editorial Flourish:
But listen, the real MVPs are the folks in the stands who help each other up when they get knocked down. Teamwork isn't about the scoreboard; it's about having your neighbor's back when things get tough. Now get out there and execute the 'kindness' play, BOOM!
